Good or bad. Great memories or painful ones, the past is in the past and can’t be changed. The good news is that today the opportunity to plant good seed for a great future is here.
Talking with clients about the possibility their past is holding them back is a touchy subject. Maybe you’re imagining that it’s only about overcoming past limitations or past pain which causes the problem. I wish that were true. Reality comes in a variety of other shapes and sizes but still creates potential barriers to a future that is being ‘seeded’ by today’s actions.
Here are some examples:
- Client A – Has great stories of a GLORIOUS past… and is still living there. Their High School or College glory days aren’t repeatable but they cling to the memory and IDENTITY they cherished in them. They fear if they let go of those ‘validations’ they won’t have anything left. Unfortunately, conditions of today require actions today, not in the past. I love the stories but I long to activate that vision and passion for the future.
- Client B – Has fabricated their own glory days and actually believes them. They are so firmly fixed in their minds that any ‘reality check’ today seems impossible to construct.
- Client C – Has been successful and believes it is a genetic trait rather than an incremental process. Believes they will be successful by default rather than through discipline and intentional focus.
- Client D – Is living in denial about their own involvement in their life. Don’t laugh, we’ve all done this. That moment when we DEFEND our position and beg others to buy into the LIE we are telling ourselves so we are ‘off the hook’. Generally in small ways, this belief killer is more dangerous than all the rest. Listen for its evidence in statements like :
- i used to be able to…
- I wish I could but
- I tried that once and IT didn’t work for me
- You don’t understand my ‘situation’.
- … or any other reason NOT TO TRY.
Embracing your dream and taking the time to build your own Definition of Success is a great beginning. Then it must migrate toward hope, then belief, then crossing the line into small actions and evidence. Don’t go there by yourself.
Some days you will need the belief others have from their own experiences and the belief they have in you. And some days you will give that belief to someone else. This is your destiny, if you choose to accept it.
Your PAST never defines your FUTURE…. unless you allow it.