This episode of Yates in Your Face is guaranteed to stir the pot.
Because, I know that some leaders aren’t ready to make this change, and are unwilling to confront the standard operating procedure that we all follow without thinking.
But, my series, Yates in your face, isn’t just about vulnerability, transparency, and the honest truth. This is about UPROOTING the hard-wired beliefs we all have that cause us to be guarded, withdrawn, and overwhelmed.
Discipline is a bandaid. Quit using this crutch to think you are making progress towards your most daunting goals. Discipline is two steps forward and one step back. That’s how it works. It’s lipstick on a pig.
The real, permanent solution is relationships.
For decades I believed the answer to everything was discipline. Self discipline, organizational discipline, behavioral discipline. But after forced rigidity of imposed discipline for years, I learned the truth. And I learned it “the hard way”.
Strangely enough, forced behavior backfires. Especially when we’re trying to force that behavior on ourselves. Disciplined behavior, suppressed feelings and thoughts; it will all backfire.
Discipline is your enemy.
It will never lead to success, unity, peace, trust or to healing. Discipline will never cause you to relax or embrace your destiny. Discipline is the greatest lie of futility we tell ourselves.
Being “squared away” sounds great, doesn’t it? Just DO the right thing. Discipline yourself.
After all, it’s all about you, isn’t it? If you’re good enough, strong enough, refined enough, you will unlock the freedom and satisfaction you’ve been searching for.
That’s like saying, if you can be wound tightly enough, you could be relaxed! It’s inside out, backwards, and counterintuitive. The harder you try to “get it right”, to “do” the right things in the right sequence, to deny your feelings, suppress your urges and refuse your thoughts, the more inevitable your meltdown will be.
Will your leadership be effective because you create more rules, suppress more behavior, and define more expectations? Leadership is relationship.
Whether we are submitting to the leadership of God or being God’s leader in human environments, it all revolves around healthy, honest, trusting relationships. Never around discipline or denial.
We’re not robots. We’re created beings with a built-in desire to be part of something that is bigger than ourselves. A need, a literal wound that won’t be healed through self-importance, self-discipline, self-denial and especially not self-sufficiency.
We need each other.
And, we need a relationship with our creator that we can relax in. Striving, flexing our muscles to achieve, denying ourselves and our desires, does not allow us to relax in the presence of each other or in the presence of Almighty God. It prevents us from being receptive in the only environment that will heal us. It implies our need can be met by human effort and self-imposed righteousness.
Suppressing behaviors does not bring healing. But healing will bring success, unity, peace, trust and deep gratitude to you and to your team.
Chasing more discipline is a delusion. Pursuing relationship makes us whole.