AUDIO: 4 Reasons We Say That's Just How It Is
If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times:
“We’re only human.”
“It’s par for the course.”
“That’s just how it is.”
“What has been will be again.”
“Hey, these things happen…that’s life.”
What if I told you that this is the TIP of the spear?
This single atrocity we have accepted desensitizes our touch, deadens our taste buds and dilutes our expectations. The problem is, we don’t even realize it. Our receptors have become so clogged with polluted expectations we don’t even comprehend that our enemy is sitting at the table with us and devouring our highest created purpose.
Maybe you think I’m saying that bad things don’t happen. Maybe you imagine I’m denying the percentages, sticking my head in the sand about failure and frustration, especially when people are involved. That’s not how I see it.
Did your Mom ever say, “Well, if all of your friends jump off a bridge does that mean you have to jump too?” Likely a parent said something similar, right?
What about when statistics say your children or your marriage or your odds are bad? Do you accept it and throw up your hands or do you start demanding from yourself the secrets, the answers that change the odds and ensure your success. You will either get passionate about rejecting these enemies or you will accept them. If you want to build a legacy of leadership it will only happen when you refuse to accept that atrocities on your team are acceptable.
There are four reasons we accept the unacceptable and say, “that’s just how it is.”
#1. We find comfort in it.
We find others nodding their heads in sympathetic agreement. We can throw up our hands and relieve ourselves of the agony of failure. That’s just the way it is. Everybody says so. No need to resist. We’re comfortable here, like a funeral home where what we expected comes to pass.
#2. We’ve accepted it.
It has become part of our expectations because we’ve accepted that it is in the realm of possibilities we anticipate. Yes, we hoped it wouldn’t happen but we accept that it does. It’s the luck of the draw. We knew it was only a matter of time. We’re not shocked, we’ve accepted it.
#3. We don’t want to be responsible for it.
“That’s just how it is” removes our responsibility for the planning, execution, team building that might keep us awake at night. The odds for success or failure are calculated and we roll the dice. Sometimes, that’s just the way it works out. We move on without feeling the weight of responsibility.
#4. We don’t know what to do about it.
We were so busy, we tried our best. Even if we beat ourselves up, we don’t really know for sure what could have been done to beat the odds. That’s just the way it is sometimes because we have no idea what to do about it.
This isn’t about guilt.
This is about the 10 common fears we all face and the consistent human desire to be valued, loved and to have genuine purpose for living.
Those are real and they are the seed planted within our team that grows into statistical failure. When we lead with clarity, purpose, vision and a deep desire to live on the same page with those we are in relationship with, we no longer have to say, “that’s just the way it is.”
We stop treating the symptoms and begin addressing the disease. When something becomes rare and foreign in a culture, the response is dismay, grief, atrocity, and disbelief. It’s never a response of “that’s just life.”
Stop accepting what has been in the loops of the past. Live with passion, uncover your purpose and become the Breakthrough Leader you were created to be.
Add your comments to the conversation: What areas of your team culture have you just accepted for what they are? Knowing these can and will be changed, what do you expect differently from your team now? Post your reply below.