Leadership negative self-talk

AUDIO: 3 Injuries that Will Never Heal on Their Own

by Greg Yates | Breakthrough Leadership

They say, “time heals all wounds.”

When we were children, our parents told us, “sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you.”

We became Christians so God would bless us, right? We didn’t sign up for struggle and suffering. At times, it seems our wounds never heal. We face the same adversaries over and over again.

Why don’t we heal? Why do we get stuck in cycles of recurring personal struggle that we have prayed to be delivered from?

During the first Gulf War in the early ‘90’s, we did a lot of military work. One of the jobs we took was to laser cut tiny slots in missile housings to allow any leaking fuel to vent out during flight. We laser cut .015″ slots all over the housing with elaborate strategy to prevent integrity loss and added stresses. (Catch me for a conversation sometime and I’ll tell you all about it.)

Managing the Symptoms is Not the Same as Healing the Injuries.

The purpose of this project was to keep a hidden and recurring fuel leak from preventing the device from accomplishing its intended purpose. Apparently, it was easier to manage the leak than it was to fix it.

Actually, it sounds pretty familiar. I’ve been guilty of elaborate strategies to keep my deep injuries and leaks from blowing things up myself!

Why Do We Cover Up Our Injuries?

We’re powerful leaders in so many ways, and yet we stumble upon the same leaks or injuries over and over in our lives and in our leadership.

Why do we get stuck there? Why do we stall out and seem forced to repeat the endless loops we’ve never been able to resolve?

There really are 3 injuries that will Never Heal on their own. Three injuries that persist because they are wrapped up in our hidden, often circumstantial beliefs.

3 Injuries that Will Never Heal on Their Own

1. Self-Talk

  1. Self-talk is like radiation. As long as we don’t get too much, it doesn’t kill us but it keeps us weakened and the damage is virtually unseen.
  2. It’s like picking at a scab, never allowing it to heal. If it does finally heal, it leaves a scar.
  3. Self-talk reinforces the lies we tell ourselves until we think they are truth. We actually believe it’s true. Fear camouflages in self-talk more than anywhere else.

2. Self-Image

  1. Our endless desire for approval comes from an image of ourselves we can’t seem to shake.
  2. It’s built on years of circumstantial beliefs. We don’t even know we’re injured. We certainly don’t accept Gods view of us. We don’t believe we are worthy of happiness or healing unless we can (somehow) redeem ourselves.

3. Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage shows up in three critical ways:

  1. It steals your confidence. Negative self-talk and a negative self-image result in unconscious self-sabotage. When we try to place confidence in ourselves, we self-destruct.
  2. It shows up in your habits. How can we heal when we habitually inflict the same wound over and over? Habits are only positive when they’re based in Christ. Unhealthy habits are a chief source of self-sabotage.
  3. It shows up in the expectation of failure. When our relationship is weakened by negative and destructive beliefs, we resign to the expectation of failure. We fail often because we expect to fail.

But here’s the good news. Brokenness leads to healing.

It’s impossible to heal ourselves. For years, I wanted to “redeem myself.” I thought if I understood the logic of my injuries and my sin I could “make it right.”

It’s Impossible to Heal Yourself When You Are the One Who is Causing the Injury.

It’s one thing to take responsibility for your failure, and another thing to be able to heal yourself. Whether your life, your family, or your business needs healing. They will never heal on their own. But, there is good news!

You can’t heal on your own but you’re not on your own. You’ve been listening to yourself and inflicting injury on yourself far too long.

With man these things are impossible but with God, all things are possible.

Add your comments to the conversation: Do you agree that self-talk, self-image, and self-sabotage affects your ability to lead? In what ways? Post your reply below.

About Greg

Greg Yates has been a Chicago area businessman for over 30 years. He’s the author of the book, "Broken - How Being Broken Unlocked The Greatest Success of My Life". He has simultaneously owned 14 different businesses in a variety of industries; including real estate, manufacturing, payroll, and technology. Greg has also been an investor and a board member. He attended Olivet Nazarene University. He has a passion for flying. He’s had a pilot’s license for over 30 years and owned a variety of airplanes. Greg and his wife Vicki have been married over 37 years. They have a son, a daughter and seven grandchildren.

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